Rocky Top Brigade Homepage Archive

 Constitution for the
 Union of Tennessee Volunteer Bloggers
 and Big Orange Expeditionary Forces
a/k/a the Rocky Top Brigade

We the Bloggers of the Great Volunteer State of Tennessee, in order to form a more perfect union, bring order to the general chaos and unsettlings of the Universe, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity for the expressed purpose of periodically making fools of ourselves in public, do hereby ordain and establish this here Constitution for the Union of Tennessee Volunteer Bloggers and Big Orange Expeditionary Forces, which shall hereafter and forevermore be known throughout the land as the Rocky Top Brigade.

 
• Whereas, Elvis is the One True King of Rock and Roll, and Graceland is the hallowed Shrine to all things virtuous and good in the Universe,
  
 
• Whereas, Dolly Parton is the One True Angel of Country Music and Dollywood is the purest manifestation of independent hillbilly entrepreneurialism in the land,
  
 
• Whereas, the Crossroads of Greenwood Mississippi might be the birthplace of the blues, but Beale Street is its cradle,
  
 
• Whereas, there ain't nothing in the world finer than Jack Daniels or a ripe Grainger County Tomato (with all due respect to Vidalia Onions and Woodford Reserve),
  
 
• Whereas, Phil Fulmer and the Big Orange Volunteers of Tennessee are the Glorious and Most Victorious Warriors of SEC Football who vanquish all foes including Steve Spurrier,
  
 
• Whereas, Andy Jackson would kick Margaret Thatcher's butt in a fair fight
  
 
• Whereas, Dubya would be riding around on a donkey and drinking cheap tequila at his ranch in Mexico if it weren't for Davy Crockett and Sam Houston,
  
 
• Whereas, Sgt. Alvin C. York single-handedly won World War One and liberated the French who proceeded to lounge around painting pictures of nekkid women (not that there's anything wrong with that) and cooking rich food and writing weird poetry and making wine that don't give near as good a buzz as moonshine thus allowing the Germans to occupy them again and requiring a bunch more good ol' Tennessee Volunteer boys to go over there and rescue their butts one more time, 
  
  
• Whereas, a big ol' Tennessee River channel cat is meaner than a bobcat with his tail on fire when taken on light tackle,

Be it resolved then, and known to all men of good standing  (and women too, for that matter) throughout the land that the Rocky Top Brigade is hereby enjoined in the battle for truth, justice, and a good  single malt Scotch whiskey for around $20.

See: Archived RTB Members List (July 19, 2005)

[copy of July 19, 2005 page retrieved from Google's cache of
southknoxbubba.net/rocky_top_brigade.htm (reformatted to fit this page)] 

© Copyright 2009 Bob Stepno. Last update: 7/27/09; 3:57:33 AM.